my, it's a beautiful world

in what ethereal dances...by what eternal streams?

2008-03-28T01:32:00.001-05:00

my fetch and i

something i made at 3 am from the content of my dreams...

I dream of wayward gulls and all landless lovers, rare moments of winter sun, peace, privacy, for everyone...

William Francis Claire

where are the things i was promised? when they told me i could do anything, when they said that in the future things would be different...i have had to lessen my dreams until they are a tiny, trembling vapor of hope clutched in one defiant hand because of them..they who caused me to dream so high! and now my soul is lost, eternally lost, left floating and crying sadly out above the world, and i can’t get it back, it’s gone, it’s forever lost in the faraway reaches where i cannot follow because i sent it off with bright hopes of joining it someday..and i am left despondent below, left to wander about the earth without that part of me because it dwells in far happier lands where it rains and shines and loves and hopes and dances with butterflies, but i’ll never get it back. i’m left soulless, dreamless, because they consumed me and left me and i cannot follow where they lead. this is not the future. this is just the interruption of the past...

Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men.

Zora Neale Hurston

blarghs.

2008-01-17T15:22:00.000-05:00

my schedule is so hectic for this semester. i will probably die. i don't use this blog much since i usually just post on myspace so only my friends can read it, but i like everyone to know that i am indeed alive and i do check this blog and post things that i find to be of general interest (eg, the lyrics i post that i can't find anywhere else on the net.)

no worries.

"Pretty Girls" lyrics by Watermark

2007-11-13T17:44:00.001-05:00

Watermark

"Pretty Girls"

I'm getting tired of pretty girls
silly, wild, big city girls
who can spend two hours putting hair in curls
but don't got a minute for th rest of the world
i'm gettin tired of those pretty girls

give me a girl who's nice and plain
who loves the Lord, and ain't so vain
she can laugh at the trouble and smile at the pain
sing in the shower and dance in the rain
look pretty in pearls but still prefer a daisy chain

i want a girl whose lips are drippin with scripture
who loves me best when i'm humble upon my knees
i want a girl that's gonna love the way
i love her like a sister
i want a girl that's gonna always love another man
over me

a woman can be so many things
she can be the love of your life
or a one night fling
she can be your hand to hold or just a diamond ring
a Juliet or just a drama queen
setting the stage for the players but never
the King

give me a woman who's warm and kind
who thinks with her heart and speaks her mind
who keeps her hands busy on a work divine
who keeps her arms open with a love gone blind
but a love like that
what mortal man can find?

i want a girl who's racing to the face of her Maker
she's full tilt runnin to wherever the Spirit leads
i want a girl who's gonna praise my Jesus everywhere i take her
i want a girl who's gonna always love another man
over me

just give me second place
that's where i want to be

cause if you move me up one space
something's gone wrong in your list of priorities

i want a girl whose lips are drippin with scripture
who loves me best when i'm humble upon my knees
i want a girl to make me feel like singing every time i'm with her
i want a girl that's gonna always love another man

i want a girl who's racing to the face of her Maker
she's full tilt runnin to wherever the Spirit leads
she leans heavy on the arms of a lover that never will forsake her
i want a girl who's gonna always love another man
over me

Reasons and Thoughts on Why I Hate Jazz

2007-09-20T08:51:00.001-05:00

Now before you get your panties in a knot--No, I am not a jazz expert. Yes, I am sure that *somewhere* there is a jazz song I would probably enjoy. No, I haven't heard it yet. No, don't send me more jazz music. Yes, I am a Music Industry major. No, that doesn't mean I should automatically love jazz.

#1. The top reason I hate jazz is because of Jazz Enthusiasts, or as I like to call them, stuck-up morons.
"What? You don't like jazz? *insert long-winded argument in favor of jazz and why I am not cultured here* Don't you know that *so and so* was the best musician who ever lived?"

No, they weren't. Just because I don't like jazz does not mean you are somehow more sophisticated than I am. Sorry. Jazz fans are a step below opera fans in that matter. At least opera has some sort of plot you can follow along to ease the boredom and ignore the ringing pain in your ears.

#2. I need structure. Sorry, it's how I've always been. I like music that I can follow, that I can see is taking me in a direction, not just wildly leading me everywhere. Music that jumps around and mumbles makes me irate.

#3. Lyrics! I know there are a lot of jazz songs with lyrics. But part of the the reason they are jazzy is because they can be played a thousand times and never sound the same. Some people might like that. I hate it. I like to know what I am listening to. I like to sing along! I like to get involved. I also like to understand the singer.
mumble mumble mumble snake mumble. And the instrumental ones put me into a coma.
no thanks.

#4. But jazz is the only true AMERICAN form of music!! You're not patriotic!

shut up. Do all people from the Netherlands enjoy death metal?

#5. Music is the universal language, people say. Or love, or smiling..whatever. Anyway, it's a form of speech, right? As in, right to free speech? So don't start yelling at me for my opinion. This actually goes back to #1 and Jazz Enthusiasts. (I have to keep typing that so I can remind myself to cool down and not call them snobby arse-holes.) This deserves multiple points just because other music fans are cool about music. They say "Oh, you don't like *so and so*? Well that's too bad. Have you heard this *really good album in their opinion* yet? Oh? You should check it out."
See? That wasn't so bad. Easy, clean, and I now know what to look for should I ever want to check out that music.

#6. I've seen the Mighty Boosh. I know what the Spirit of Jazz looks like, he's evil and I don't have any spare vacuums handy. He is NOT crawling up in this.

#7. I feel that people who are interested in music feel like they are forced to admit they like jazz even if they don't. That's oppression!! Stop keeping us jazz-haters down!

#8. I did a very professional poll by hastily IMing some friends who happened to be online at the time and the overwhelming response was "NO BECAUSE IT SUCKS."

Actually, they all gave intelligent responses and one person even said they liked it, but therefore they don't count and I was too lazy to write the other stuff down.

#9. I like my music to be varied. There is way too much brass in jazz, not enough strings, not enough of anything else for that matter. I'm not really a fan of brass in general, I love reed instruments and percussion and strings more....I don't know, it reminds me of when I went to an art museum and I saw a piece of graph paper, blown up and laminated on the wall. Or a just a panel of red. Seriously. Then I have people saying "Well Art is all around us, how do you define art, blah blah". I don't care. Art should take talent and thought and a giant piece of graph paper is not Art in my opinion, sorry. Yes, I see beauty and art in simple, everyday things. Not saying that the only way to be an artist is to be Michelangelo. But still. Art takes work. The work is what you see reflected in the piece--care, devotion, time of the person who made it. How much work did it take to stick the graph paper on the wall? Same with jazz. I'll just improvise some tune, doesn't have to be the same next time.

#10. I hate waiting rooms. Waiting rooms that play jazz music incessantly.

Now, I understand there are different types of jazz. From what I've heard, they all bore me. Thinking about it, I actually like the word "jazz" quite a bit. Sort of edgy and smooth. Much like jazz isn't.

random stuff

2007-08-25T17:02:00.000-05:00

INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Main type	Variant

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Summer Song Summer -- Radiogram Lyics

2007-07-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

my idea of the perfect day
would be to lie in bed and just melt away
the sun through my window casts a hazy ray
it turns reflections into memories

another summer song summer
full of one-hit number ones
current on the charts
so that i can sing along
of the seasonal behavior
yeah the kids come on too strong
another summer gone summer
but it's someone else's song

it's been so long since we sang "so long"
i didn't know it'd be our one-hit song
we played it every hour all summer long
until the needle broke under your thumb

another summer gone summer
full of one-hit number ones
current on the charts
still i try to sing along
of the seasonal behavior
everyone comes on too strong
another summer song summer
but it's someone else's song

my idea of the perfect day
would be to lie in bed and just melt away
another summer song summer
full of one-hit number ones
current on the charts
everybody sing along
of the seasonal behavior
i've been coming on too strong
another summer gone summer
but it's someone else's song

the radio is playing nothing else (someone else's song)
another anthem for today's lost youth (someone else's song)
i used to wonder what became of you (someone else's song)
you changed your mind before they changed our tune

Nashvegas

2007-06-09T16:40:00.001-05:00

well, i've made it through my first week and a half here in nashville. work is killer but the schedule and pay are both good so that's good.

i really need to go through my iTunes. i have over 9,000 songs and a lot of them i don't really listen to, and they just annoy me when they come on. lol. i hate not having them though.

bika comes here tomorrow, so that's cool. maybe we'll go do something nashvillian. because i have just been working and sleeping. i slept 16 hours last night. crazy, but i was wiped.

well, it's been real.

yes no maybe?

2007-05-25T19:32:00.000-05:00

here i am again.

first things first. i fly to nashville this wed. i'm excited for a new job, a new place, concerts, and summertime.
second things second. where the heck did AIM chat rooms go?! i mean wtc, they used to be so full that they had to keep creating new ones. but now there are none to be found, and the ones that are, have barely any people!! what is happening! its the first time i have used a chat room in like...ten years, so i guess things are allowed to change with myspace etc. but still...i miss the random people being all pervy. does that make me a perv? ponders.

things are at a really weird point right now. i've got some stuff going on and i want things to be new and different, i want to meet a lot of new people and make new friends, but i don't really know where i am going right now. but i want to have a great summer before going back to oneonta.

sigh.

Can't Stop The World-- Gavin Rossdale Lyrics

2007-04-24T17:54:00.000-05:00

i finally wrote these down because i can't find them anywhere else!!
this is an amazing song, and the theme to Drive, a great show. watch it!!! that's an order.

how far will you go
how deep is your love
your body's bruised and on fire
can't stop the world
can't stop desire

i can't turn around
and i can't turn around

some days i can see the future
some days you seem so far
i don't know know what i was thinking
i've been gone too long
i've been gone too long

don't fall to pieces
don't give up or give down
keep your eyes on the road
can't stop the world
can't stop the phones

and i can't turn around
and i can't turn around

some days i can see the future
some days you seem so far
i don't know know what i was thinking
i've been gone too long
(some days i can see the future)
some days you seem so far
i don't know know what i was thinking
i've been gone too long
i've been gone.....

the strange life surrounding you
its under you
i understand
what can i do to get to you
(ohhhhhhhh)
what can i do to get to you

how far will you go
how deep is your love
your body's bruised and on fire
can't stop the world
can't stop desire

some days i can see the future
some days you seem so far
i don't know know what i was thinking
i've been gone too long
(some days i can see the future)
some days you seem so far
i don't know know what i was thinking
(i don't know what i was thinking)
i've been gone too long
i've been gone too long
(i don't know what.. what..)
i've been gone too long

songs, spring

2007-04-21T01:51:00.000-05:00

hey, if anybody knows the lyrics to radiograms "Summer Song Summer" i would dearly love a link or comment :D

its been a while. i've been seriously stressed and lacking in sleep due to finals etc etc.

forgive me. i shall return.

let the semester end quickly, let summer roll on in.

craziness

2007-03-27T17:53:00.000-05:00

so. this week (these two weeks, actually) have been crazy. tons of work (exams, quizzes, papers [one for math, even!!!] fencing) and just general craziness. midterms will do that, i suppose. also, we finally have spring break coming up, this friday after class. Of course that will be marred by the fact my pop pops is in the hospital and my mom is in florida visiting my grandmama so i won't be able to see her at all. such is life i suppose.

also, you can feel spring in the weather. normally i don't really like spring, everything is wet and hectic and ugly. but i wouldn't like not having it, i guess. the weather is making me crazy.

anyway, on to my papers. i really need to get those done.

let's dance

2007-03-13T21:56:00.000-05:00

wow. i am just loaded with work lately. plus i am serious physical agony. okay, maybe just a little pain. my mouth is sore (wtc!!) i'm covered in fencing bruises and i just feel like falling over.
but here are a few bowie pictures that cheered me up :)

that which i would do, i do not. that i would not do, i do.

2007-03-07T18:16:00.000-05:00

woops. been a few days, hasn't it?

i am so wiped from fencing and sheer craziness of all the work piling up. so many exams/papers/quizzes/stuffs due soon. wahh!1 plus my caffeine addiction keeps sleep away.
i skipped two classes today, and i don't know why. i didn't sleep in, i just chatted on the computer, so it wasn't exhaustion. some days you just feel bleh. i did end up going to two other classes though...nothing really interesting happening on the lauren front lately. just chillin (sooo cold out) and as usual, procrastinating and hoping i'm doing the right thing.

yep.

ps. i am totally broke. someone give me a job/money/pesos/gold coins/credit card number.

cha, girl

2007-02-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

eh. such is life.
here i am home for a short break. my breaks pass like dreams; i sleep through them, i watch tv shows i've saved on my laptop for such a purpose, and i daydream. i need a job, a license, a car. it's sad i still don't have a license. but oh well, such is life. great words. it's so easy to pass the buck by blaming life....

be human...

2007-02-18T17:00:00.000-05:00

steve sent me yoko kanno music, and this song really just made my day. of course, you can't get the fullness of it without the music, but this is an amazing song and you should listen to it. (IM me and i will send it to you)

i also saw bridge to terabithia today. a great book, and for once, a great movie. i loved it.

too much have we become robots, yoda says. maybe we should open our eyes and become human....

I analyze and I verify and I quantify enough
one hundred percentile
no errors, no miss
I synchronize and I specialize and I classify so much
don't worry 'bout dreaming
because I don't sleep
I wish I could at least 30 percent
maybe 50 for pleasure
then skip all the rest
if I only was more human
I would count every single second the rest of my life
if I just could be more human
I'd have so many little babies and maybe a wife
I'd roll around the mud
and have lots of fun
then when I was done
build bubblebath towers and swim in the tub
sand castles on the beach
frolic in the sea
get a broken knee
be scared of the dark and I'd sing out of key
cuss when I lost a fight
kiss and reunite
scratch a spider bite
be happy with wrinkles I got when I smiled
pet kittens til they purred
maybe keep a bird
always keep my word
I'd cry at sad movies
I'd laugh til it hurt
I'd buy a big bike
and ride by the lake
and I'd have lots of friends
and I'd stay out too late
if I could just be more human
I would see every little thing with a gleam in my eye
if only I was more human
I'd embrace every single feeling that came in my life
would I care and be forgiving?
would I be sentimental and would I feel loneliness?
would I doubt and have misgivings?
would I cause someone sorrow, too?
would I know what to do?
will I cry when it's all over?
when I die will I see heaven...

she's a super freak

2007-02-18T00:25:00.000-05:00

britney spears, as i have said for many, many years, is crazy. all of you naysayers who didn't believe me, look, and watch in awe as the crazed pop...well, whatever she is...here you go.

oh and, this one is good too.

in other, and dare i say much more personal and interesting, news, i went to see Chess the musical tonight and it was just as great as i thought it would be. except for the lead female, she was pretty bad. but overall, i thought it was amazing. markuson was funny too. kudos, props, all that jazz.

did they tell you you would come undone, when you tried to touch the sun?

2007-02-17T04:59:00.000-05:00

i am such a slacker. after the delightful three days off due to the valentine's day snowstorm, i still have accomplished nothing. not my papers, not studying, only movies and sleep and long nights playing online. that's okay though; i work better under pressure. however, it was a good valentine's day, a great week overall. i can't complain.

the firefox spell check tells me that 'okay' isn't correct; and that the suggestion is 'Tokay'. Tokay. i will remember that.

my favorite painting is by h.j. draper, entitled 'lament for icarus'. i have included it here. i'm sure mostly everyone is familiar with the story of the boy who flew too close to the sun and had his wings melt from the heat. i find a lot of meaning in this myth. it is one of my favorites. icarus was also warned to not fly near the water; the dampness would cause his wings to become too heavy. why did he choose to fly upwards, rather than down toward the sea? he had a short, wild flight that ended in his descent into the depths. he paid no heed to his father's warnings and fell into the water. i don't know why, i just happen to love this story.

it's the dark solitary time in the wee hours of the night that the best things happen, and the crazy comes out. tokay.

let's go somewhere wonderful

2007-02-14T00:14:00.000-05:00

i'm not normally a "post every day" person but....

let's get a spirit guide and smoke peyote and go find our power animals in the desert. we'll choose a new name and it will be fantabulous. who is with me?

check out my friend's blogs:

STEVE
BIKA

grammys 2007: starring justin timberlake's nose

2007-02-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

man. i just watched the grammys, and i was pretty disappointed. it brought up more than a few questions, such as: who even listens to the dixie chicks? who votes for this? why does the guy from the chili peppers look just like will ferrell? and what kind of pore cream does justin use?

however, the police? amazing. who doesn't love the police? and don henley is the man. it would have been nice is rascal flatts hadn't ruined hotel california. i think mary j blige's hair has magical properties, i don't trust it. and she was all over the place tonight. she must teleport or something.

why did i only see country music? don't they have their own awards show? i mean, third day, the flaming lips, and ok go all won, but you barely heard anything from them, if anything at all!

and what was with the "vote for this girl to sing with justin" thing? american ido--i mean, the grammys-- used to be above this.

anyway, i need to analyze what i just watched for media values and write a paper on it, so here goes. and i added a little picture i love, cause it's so cute.

picture thanks to jeff thomas at azuzephre.net

this is as good as it gets.

2007-02-10T21:04:00.000-05:00

did you know that fireflies were associated with cigar smoking in mayan mythology?

thank you, lovely wikipedia.

this is going to be a short one, as it is my first blog here, and i don't want to overdo it. mainly i just have one thing to tell the public: there are two books you absolutely must read in order to be an adult of any reasonable intelligence. those books are: the phantom tollbooth, by norton juster, and the little prince, by antoine de saint-exupery. read those books. adore them. treasure them. they are superficially children's books, but underneath are the basic lessons of humanity. love it.

oh, and buy Firefly too. support joss whedon, because we love him.